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7:09 a.m. - Friday, Jul. 12, 2013

Been doing housework while listening to music from Comcast's Solid Gold Oldies. Recently discovered that I can listen to music from the TV since I don't have any speakers to listen to my CDs.

The story is LONG, long>>> and drawn out: a few years ago I purchased small shelf speakers to place in the living room so I could listen to music. Dean said he would wire the speakers and get them going for me.

Now its four years later and I still don't have any speakers. I looked throughout the house for the speaker wires. No can do. I asked Dean where the wires are & got his usual response, without even him thinking
he responds with "I dunno. Can't remember." Damn! I'm feeling like putting up one of the photos I took of the garage, my garage, that I can barely walk into due to Dean refusing to put anything away. He just tosses "stuff" anywhere he sees room.
When I want to use "My set" of tools which Dean took and claimed as his own and mixed them in with his mess of tools. The garage is really disgusting. I am ashamed every time I need to open the garage doors. We live in a nice Minneapolis 3rd tier
suburban neighborhood. I've seen neighbors drive by and gawk at the horrible mess in my garage.

I cant talk about that garage any more because it rubs my ass raw!!!!

Anyhow...Dean per usual, doesn't know where all the speaker wires are. Ever since he has had his Ipod and Iphone, I have not been able to listen to music in my house. I could use ear buds and listen to the portable CD player, IF, that is IF

Dean could tell me where he put the player!. It is unreal. So after a couple of hours looking for the wire, I turned on the TV and discovered MUSIC ! :)

I don't have time to bitch here, though it would be a great outlet to do so. I have too much to do before Dean gets up and turns every tv on in the house! SO he wont miss any thing when he goes from room to room. Can't seem to get through his

thick head what a waste of electricity and money having all the tv's on, not to say all the lights on in every room. But guess that is what I get for living with a guy, any guy, especially this narcissist who I've used a lot of time and energy on over the years.

In addition to being a narcissist, he is the most selfish, person I've EVER KNOWN (some come close but not quite). But enough.

When I can get this pig sty house in order which will probably take years, I SWEAR, I will divorce his sorry ass and take his stupid mind through the wringer! (unless I'm just a die hard think-I-deserve-everything-I-get person or maybe I just LOVE being miserable...) HE will be able to know what mental torture is all about and it will be my time to get some hard earned


My oldest daughter does not understand why I've stuck it out all these years. I reminded her that I managed to escape in 1997 when I lived in New Hampshire. I refreshed her memory that she decided it was her chore to go to NH and tell a few untruths to a couple of

people I know in the hope that I would be rejected and return to MN. Well I finally returned to MN, not because of any rejection but because Dean was having surgery and also because I couldn't find a job. ( within weeks of returning I was offered a great job,

which I had really wanted but it was too late. I already gave up my space in the NEw Hampshire house, and started back with my Minnesota Job.

I reminded my daughter that she had no right sticking her nose in mny business when she didn't know everything that was involved in my decision to leave in the first place.

That there IS such a thing as loving a person but being unable to live with that person because they are destroying your spirit, the very core of your being! And that staying in the situation is your choice, and you are giving all the power to that person.

All this stuff I know in the distant recesses of my mind. But paying attention to my inner self and my own common sense is difficult at times. Especially now that I've retired myself: my income is 1/2 or more of what I was bringing in working. Itis a long story why I retired when I did.

I just sorta disappeared from the hospital. I refused any going away shindig my supervisor suggested. I sat at her desk, gave her my 30 day written notice and told her I just wanted to wrok my last 4 weeks, then disappear into the sunset. It was selfish on my part, but also my right.

It was one of the BEST decisions I've ever made. Retiring myself when I did, saved some of my sanity, and due to the unsafe (for patients) conditions at the hospital, I probably saved my nursing license. People were dying needlessly on the psych floors and NO ONE outside the hospital knew about it

Ethically I was in a catch 22.

Well I've typed enough. Just think I will leave some lyrics here of a memory of days gone by. The lyrics are from one of the tunes an old friend sent to this gullible fool>ME in 1997 (oh, but I think that "old Friend" ( I'm being facetious here) has had a great time with Karma... LMFAO!!!

Karma know how to dose out the good stuff. HEEE HEEE...)
In conclusion, I believe everything happens for a reason. People come and go in our lives for a reason. Everything is meant to be the way it is, for some unknown reason...

Anyhow even though this lyrics read weird without the tune, so be it. Here goes.....

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

shall I stay, would it be a sin?

If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea Darling so it goes Some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

For I can't help falling in love with you

If I was a drinker, I'd have a nice stiff drink,

but since I am not, I'll have a nice strong cup of coffee and a wicked smoke....Gotta get my work done while it is quiet and Dean is snoozin...

So until the next exciting episode...toodlles, bay---bee...

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