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8:00 a.m. - Saturday, November 13, 2004
Life goes on, fickleness, flight of fantasy and all...
This is one of my "dumbshit" diary entries, because I'm still half asleep.

Woke up early this morning thinking "oh that's it, he figured out my password for yahoo. That is why the comment about the yahoo profile." Couldn't figure out last night when in yahoo email why I was getting yahoo travel email. I hadn't asked for anything about travel info. hmmm

Sure enough. I logged into my Yahoo account. What is there? My real name for one. A horoscope for LEO. (I'm a Scorpio.) My age was listed; my real town, a real email address, etc etc. Well some of it I changed and some of the info I left.

I keep thinking that some men sure are fickle. Nothing better to do but play these childish games. He keeps doing this when he talks to me one day on the phone tells me to call him then tells me one day to go away. Wish he would make up his mind. Sure spends alot of time making his webpages re: me or trying to figure out my passwords when he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Fickle fickle.

Wish he would just bury the hachet. Make a clean slate so we could be like normal people and be friends like we were meant to be. Oh well. Its his call not mine. Till then I will just do what I need to do for my own sanity for the time being till he makes up his mind he wants to act like a semi-normal man and act like he knows he can.(I say that losely as semi-normal because I dont care for the word normal. Plus I know how men are when it comes to speaking the truth.). All he needs to do is be honest and talk. He knows I'm too smart of a woman and he can't fool me. He never has been able to. At least not for long. We are too much alike that way. We are both tenatious and stubborn. Boys will be boys. And whatever turns his crank. Something needs too! hehe. Here we could both be enriching each others lives with our fine intelligence, humor and what are we doing? Nothing. Except once in a while aggrivating each other. NO fun. At least not from my point of view. But then he has fun having someone to be angry at I suppose. But then if he is really an evil dude its best stay away from him. I keep forgetting about that. Or maybe I am fickle too! Oe thing is for sure, we're both goofie in our own right. Nothing wrong with that. Besides, I seriously avoid anyone who considers themselves profoundly "normal". A bad word. NORMAL! IMHO. What is normal anyhow?

Yesterday, I went to a day long class. Won't say what it was about except learned that carbs can be dangerous. On a personal note, I need to get down to where I and eat a full 3 meals a day with no more then 35 carb at each meal. Wow that isn't very many carbs! Otherwise there will be trouble real soon with this body of mine with my family history. My mother died of complications from CHF and diabetis.

Mom was a consumer for the carbs and big time. Loved her breads, potatoes, rice, sweets, all the stuff that isn't all that good for us. She wasn't big on beef. She enjoyed the other white meet, pork. Fat can be bad too but it is the carbs that affects the glucose the worse. Then its the fat of course that affects the cholesterol. I was never that good with dietary or nutritional things. All I know need a few changes in my personal eating habits. Darn, and I love my ice cream! Oh well...

Well work to do and work nights...at least for a while. Thinking about doing something different. Again. Been at my present place of employment almost 20 years and its getting really old. OLD!!! Craving a change really bad. Been wanting to check into travel nursing and with the trumoil around this place. Well I've got it in my head. It's been there strong for a few years now. Thinking about doing it full time. They have been calling.

I have my RV AND my 5th wheel. What more do I need except a maybe a 1 ton pickup but thats no bigdeal. The 3/4 ton 4WD just doesnt quite have enuff pickup and the 350 tranny strains with the 33ft fiver behind it. Hmmm. Been shopping around. I'm thinking to go with some kind of a low miles, used Dodge Duelly, with crew cab . Well I will need to keep looking around.

I have a basic plan in mind for the next year or so. Got it started a 2 months ago already.

Well on with life for today....

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