Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

12:09 a.m. - Saturday, Nov. 09, 2013
same ole same ole. Some things never change.

Hmm its the second week in November. Can't believe I am still in MN and not in the warmth of Florida. It's sort of my doing because I gave Dean an ultimatum, and didn't follow through. "We don't go to Florida until you get the work done you promised me you would do when we got back to MN. Or I fly to FL with my 3 cats and leave you here in MN" Now almost 6 months later, not ONE of his promises were kept. None of of the promised work done: no lowered bed so I dont have to climbed into a bed.No garage cleaned up. No shades put up. No leaky laundry tub faucet fixed. What I got was Dean's daily routine: get up make his coffee sit at the kitchen table literally for hours on end with the TV on, playing with his Iphone. I've decided to do all the work I personally need to do while Dean is asleep.

Probably Dean will be as he's been the past 4 years: Sit in FLorida room with tv on, playing with Iphone, neglecting everything that needs to be done. Each week like clock work, trash out once a week, play cards Wednesday night with the guys, bingo on Thursday. Once in a while go outside and mow the lawn. Watch all the weekly shows, never pick up after himself, pea all around the toilet and literally leave shit on back of toilet seat. It's GROSS!

Oh well. Guess I get what I deserve. EH?!? And the biggest disappointment: when I went to sleep the morning of my birthday,late October, Dean did not remember it was my birthday! I was really disappointed. He didn't wish me a happy birthday until I brought it up. DAMN!

Laughing to myself: same ole same ole. At the moment, Dean's nesting again in at the kitchen table. I'm going to go to bed and hopefully wake while he is still asleep so I can have a quiet house to work in.

Tonight I decided to take the evening off and finally watch a movie on TV: The Vow. Enjoyed the movie and the last tune by the Cure, Pictures of You

I feel much better after writing out my feelings. Now I can let them go. And get on with stuff.....

Time for this sessions lyrics:

Pictures of You

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go

You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!